Sleazy boyfriends love masks because every time their girlfriend asks "Did you bring protection?" They can technically say yes without lying.
People are annoyed that Elon Musk tweeted this blatant lie about himself. Being the scientific figurehead that he is, should he be forced to admit the truth?
This clip is of a Florida woman's speech before her city council is such a wild ride of a rollercoaster that I'm surprised there isn't a line with a 3-hour wait time to watch it.
9 out of 15 of the notable cases listed on Wikipedia's "Internet Homicide" page were done over Craigslist...Coincidence?
The Office of the Inspector General has found that 12,200 living American are declared legally dead every year-- Likely more than 500,000 "Credit Zombies"
Celebrate Mother's day by treating yourself to a ride down Memory road to Milf City.
No one in this video is a shining beacon of morality-- that's for sure. But their accents are dumbfounding.
Somebody tell celebrities to stop complaining about being in quarantine-- we have no sympathy and could care less.
Oh sure it's powdered milk. Yeah just like my baggie full of green leaves that I store in my bedroom is oregano.
How many senior citizens work at Silicon Valley tech companies?
It must be so hard to beat the worst teams in the NFL.
The 7 things you need to know that you didn't need to know them.
Jim Halpert is so loved that even Todd Packer said he was, "Tall, queer, handsome as ever. I mean, do Halper Haters even exist? Oh yes. And after you read why the massive number of Office fans quietly hate Jim Halpert, you may want to reconsider having "looking for the Pam to my Jim" in your tinder bio.
Women are better than man at literally everything--including soccer. We should probably get a female president in the oval office soon.
Knockout was Faster than you can say: pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis (this is a real word)
This is easily the most accurate thing you'll read all day.
And why the hell is Daniel Day Lewis so secretive?
Some people are afraid of the Doctor--mine had me scared stiff. It was hard. The checkup was difficult too.
He may have defecated in public, but what the Holmdel Police did to him was much crappier...allegedly (Reported before the Asbury Park Press)
Man from Belmar/Lake Como has been arrested for selling drugs. All the drugs.
True evil comes from those without a motive other than to create chaos.
Anyone that thinks otherwise shouldn't be allowed to call themselves a fan since they clearly don't care enough to pay close attention.
As their true rainbow colors show, the United Methodist Church is actually the furthest thing from 'united'
Many view April 20th as a day that brings real and/or artificial happiness. Others feel like those people should get off their high-as-a-kite horse and open their red-eyes to see why 4/20 blows chunks --not smoke.
Yahoo doesn't even yield results about the subject you searched. Is that the correct usage of the word "Yield?" I'll look it up—as long as I don't have to use Yahoo Search to do it.
Here are 10 Ways You Can Reduce How Much You're Spending on Gas. You'll be kicking yourself for not doing some of these earlier!
You don't get infected. You get infested.
Because no one really cares about the winners of kooky categories like Best Chamber Music/Small Ensemble Performance or Best Contemporary Christian Music Performance/Song.
If Kyler can't take the heat, maybe he should get out of the kitchen.
Ariana Grande has released a few monster hit songs. However, a few of them have received some backlash from other artists and musicians for stealing their work. One artist has finally had enough, and officially has taken out a lawsuit against the mega star.
Britney joins people like King Henry VIII and Kanye West on the list of craziest famous people of all time.
Man flying from Russia to Toronto, Canada arrested for trying to illegally smuggle contraband into Toronto, Canada. He was arrested at Toronto Pearson International Airport for "illegally importing an internationally regulated species (leech) without required permits."
Is a hot dog a sandwich? Is a pineapple made of pine and apple? Neither? Click to read more.
Reality Stars Kendra Wilkinson and Chad Johnson have allegedly been seen going on "low-profile" dates; many are annoyed.
Professional Soccer Player Emiliano Sala, 28, was aboard the Piper Aircraft that recently went missing over the English Channel.
3 lifeguards are suing the town of Belmar, NJ, claiming that the town chose to "discharge" them because of their age.
This man looks so creepy that you already know that he's a sex offender before reading the article.
Has the president always had this issue or are people just noticing now because of how prominent it was during the Presidential Address?
You fail to achieve your New Year's Resolutions each and every year. But Don't go blaming your lazy ass's inability to work twards long term goals just yet. Maybe you we're destined to fail from the start by making your list entirely wrong. Here is a guide to writing your list of New Years Resolutions you'll actually want to follow through with.
Never doubt your intelligence again. If these two half-wits somehow have the brain capacity to function on their own in society, then you are mentally equipped to handle anything.
The real question to ask here is, how the hell did NJ only now become the state with the most young Americans living with their parents?
If you are in sports journalism, do not do this. Coaches, players, all team affiliates, and FANS hate how often, yet useless this interview question is,
And it's the complete opposite scenario for guys.
If these nudes end up being legit pics of Kit Harington (aka Jon Snow), then he really needs to trim his bush or change his name to Kit Hair-ington. Wordplay and Foreplay. Nothing better.
What do you get when you mix millions of angry commuters with a history of aggressive driving and an unexpected snow storm? A sh*tload of car accidents.
College basketball fans across the country are currently debating whether or not this foul call was justified. The call resulted in the ejection of a player and was met with fierce disapproval. What do you think?
Some of the images of the deadliest wildfire in California-history are unlike anything we've ever seen before. In fact, they look more like something we thought we'd never see. The wildfires have been compared to underworlds, battlefields, the Apocalypse, etc. You have to see it to believe it, and these images certainly will make you believe it.
The Kim Kardashian and Kanye West clan are one of Los Angeles's biggest power families. Both Kim and Kanye are controversial in their own way, but no matter your opinion, everyone can agree that what they did for their neighbors is an incredibly admirable act of kindness.
We here at KillerTakes pride ourselves on our masculine manliness because we're really insecure about our potential femininity we have suppressed deep down, but what the Tonight Show did on yesterday's episode was so cute that it makes a newborn baby kitten look repugnant.
Unfortunately for this reporter, Randy Howe (AKA Handy-Randy), you don't need fancy police forensics to tell the difference between stroking and scratching motions. Plus, the cop's have the bar's surveillance footage that shows Howe unzipping his pants and straight up cleaning his pipe.
There is a reason so many people are haterz...it's because it's a lot of fun.
And they did it so well that it makes you wonder if the show would've been actually worse WITHOUT product placement
Danny Leiner leaves behind a legacy of stoner movies that we're so bad, they're good.
Cleveland Fans can relax knowing that there is at least one team that is definitely worse than they are this season. This team is the undisputed worst.
Are you Dating a criminal? Well, you are if your significant other has ever gone snooping through your phone.
Sesame Street has changed a lot lately. Be a good parent.
You don't want your kid growing up on the street.
Do you believe in Coincidences?
Snoop Dizzle is ashamed of his erectile dys-fizzle--chronic struggle with a soft pee-nizzle
^Don't want to mislead you, but the deep ocean is an asylum of fish craziness
It's definitely-probably-possible. That isn't not-not incorrect for sure.
Sucks to Be You; You'll never have the glory of saving a baby from a fire.
Would you trade a little infection to play with these puppies?
Brown's fans don't deserve a good team
If SJP loses she'll be forced to pay 150,000-- only 0.1% of her net worth.
Student's Subliminal Message Theory has been Confirmed by Actor Tobey Maguire, changing Spider-Man's legacy forever.
Viewer Discretion is Advised.
It kept trying to get her naked.
You wish it was your legs.
These French Scientist's just made half of the world panic when their 20 year study found that prominent forehead wrinkles is tell-tale sign for cardiovascular disease. So yeah, thanks for making everyone ever think they're going die soon, assholes. Anyway, here's a list of celbrities who should maybe go to the cardiologist for a well-visit.… Continue reading 20-year Study finds link between Forehead Wrinkles and Heart disease–A List of Celebs Who Should go to the Cardiologist
Most blogs about TV shows, movies, books, porn, etc., begin the blog by telling the reader what the thing they're writing about is. But if you need someone to explain what Game of Thrones is to you in 2018 you might want to just check into a psych ward because you're too far gone. The… Continue reading Other TV Series Will Finally have a Fighting Chance as Game of Thrones Will Not be Eligible for the 2019 Emmy’s
Anyone in The World Could Have Guessed That This Fan Photo Would Go Viral
Talk about a crappy situation.
Rape jokes never work.
SHOULD READ: We endorse KillerTakes, Not KillerTakers...(of lives).
You don't normally here "We got a runner on the mound." Cant imagine how much of a little pre-teen he'll feel like when he's sitting on the bench watching the game he is suspended in....I suggest he just throw some booze in his mitt and call it a day. Though I am pretty sure this… Continue reading Did Luis Perdomo Just become the Biggest Coward In All of Sports?
Icebreakers aka 2 Truths and a Lie with psychopaths.
Area weather people ever correct?
Is Tom cruise really taller than anyone?