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Health and Lifestyle, Sports

PawSox (RedSox Triple-A team) Won’t Let Your “Evil” Child Into Upcoming Games if They’re Named Austin or Tyler

 

PawSox depicting the Yankees as the most powerful weapon in the universe…quite the move

“This, of course, references last week’s benches-clearing fracas between the Red Sox and Yankees that involved Joe Kelly and Tyler Austin. Austin slid hard into second base, which upset Brock Holt. The benches emptied as the two jawed at each other, but no punches were thrown. Later in the game, Kelly threw at Austin and the benches emptied again. Punches were thrown this time and both players were given suspensions.“– KillerTakes Via Yahoo! via NBC Sports via Bill Bauer via PawSox.

This is just a weird move. I get it’s a promotional move to aid in reviving the Yankees, Red Sox Rivalry, but come on….everyone knows what you’re doing.

Do you really think any Yankees or Red sos are going to give a shit whether or not they go to this game? At most they lose 20 bucks. “What a minor inconvenience, I might have to go tomorrow.”

Screen Shot 2018-04-20 at 9.01.38 AM

 

 

 

 

When you’re 1,000 years old and try to appeal to millennial online.

 

 

 

 

The way I see it, the PawSox could either go through with it or not. And if they do go through with it, are they checking ID’s? What if my 3 month year old baby was named Austin or Tyler…should I just stuff him in a locker until after the game? Leave him in the car? Toss him and adopt another?

“Self-Identifying” is such a specific phrase that it makes me believe they’re just going to ask everyone what their name is. When my little brother was 2, he really didn’t understand anything but his own name. It’s all he’d say when you spoke to him. What are you going to do then? If I just say my name Is Joe, do I get in for free? basically free admission except for my 3 year-old son?

I really hope this was a marketing intern… otherwise, the PawSox might want to consider hiring someone with a brain.

(Shout out to Smitty at BarstoolSports for the scarecrow reference).

Obviously my article title is misleading. You know what else is misleading?

Any fast food advertisement. Or literally any article title. Pick out any story ever and you can spin it to bash them.

Screen Shot 2018-04-20 at 9.03.30 AMPictured definitely isn’t Arby’s. You know what? This piece of shit with two pieces of bread and is Arby’s. I welcome the lawsuit. Arby’s consists of actual poop, cheese, bread, and a guy yelling stuff at you in the commercials. Come at me, Barby’s. I want you. Or does Barby’s not have the meats for it?

 

 

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