So I am pretty sure I just figured out a damn life hack formula. You know how there are some people who you just get along with…maybe they aren’t perfect, but after a conversation or two, you think, “he’s pretty normal…I could see myself being friends with that guy.” You think no more no less, just that he seems like an alright dude.
Then there are the people that you have one conversation and instantly realize that there is no way you’d ever be friends with this guy, and that you’ll tolerate said person if you absolutely must, but that’s it. He gives you the skeeves and is comfortable staring at you in silence… yeah that guy is someone you are going to try and have minimal contact with.
Then there is the guy who you really aren’t sure if you could see yourself being friends with them. You know, the guy who is a coworker who looks normal because he’s always wearing sports gear and never wears a bowtie. He’s similar age to you so everyone in the office sort of expects you to become best friends and eat every lunch together, but something about him makes the situation really awkward. He is on the quieter side and seems like he’s smarter than he is dumber, but his brain is probably has a 60-40% ratio of smart parts to dumb parts. He says things at times that can be really funny, other times he doesn’t respond, and other times you don’t know what the fuck he’s talking about.
So is he normal enough to be friends in the real world, or just a little too off to be anything more than friendly coworkers? Here is what you do:
Next time he or she is giving an unpopular thought, opinion, talking about a strange theory they have, or even something small like an organizational preference that most would find to be abnormal behavior–respond to them with this simple question:
“You’re kind of a weird guy, huh Cole?”
And their response is crucial. I formulated this theory after I witnessed someone ask that very question to a coworker, and the response was enlightening. I have heard people pose that query in a playful and teasing manner, and have never heard the response like today.
Normal– A normal guy will either laugh, or respond in a way where he or she steers into the skid, embracing their weirdness. They are comfortable being hypothetically weird as they know they are not, and aren’t self conscious about it. You’ll probably get a response like, “oh I am so weird…you don’t even know the half of it.”
Weirdo– Like the coworker did today, the weirdo man will either be taken back at the question, or immediately try and defend himself. Today, my coworker responded to that question with, “What? Look, I am a normal guy, but just because I have a few weird habits and like my desk a certain way, does that suddenly make me some freak?” Uh yes.
The weird guy minds being called weird because he knows deep down inside that he does some strange things, so he defends himself to change your mind. The normal person won’t care, and almost takes pride in his quirky hobbies. Stay on the look out folks. But ti was just bizarre. Who defends themselves like that? We are all weird, it’s actually more abnormal for you to be completely normal. Clearly, the weirdo in this situation is self conscious about other people finding out of his abnormalities and thinks about it often.
It’s simple psychology backed by absolutely no evidence and zero wikipedia research. even type it into the google search bar built into my mac. Just pure scientific, factual, educated-guess theory.
CONSPIRACY ALERT: A reader believes that I was actually the weirdo in this scenario and defended myself when a coworker posed that question. The reader clams that he or she believes that I was asked if I was a weirdo, and when I floundered under pressure, I thought to myself, ‘wow, that is a really good way of finding out if someone is a freak or not.’ I would like to dispel these rumors NOW as Fake News! It’s the deplorables at it again! Trump jokes aside, the conspiracy is not true, nor is the story at all. It’s entirely hypothetical, basically to explain that, if ask a weirdo if they are one, they’ll defend themselves. If they are not, they really won’t care about your rude and intrusive question. I am NOT A WEIRDO, SO PLEASE STOP SENDING ME THOSE LETTERS WHOEVER YOU ARE.
Drop the true weirdos for the people willing to claim they are weirdos, because they are not really weirdos #IntentionallyWeirdSentence.