Good news gaming nerds, it’s time you get some of the sweet glory that the popular athletes get.
The eEra of eSports is upon us. If you follow the surprisingly massive video-gaming world, you already knew that. But to the future athletic jabroni’s that don’t, you best e-dapt (HA! spelling puns). Ever wonder why it’s spelled Evolution? Move over you nerdy 225-pound middle-linebacker little bitch and make way for the below average sized man with disproportionately large thumbs on campus. You can beat us up in the real world, but if you have the balls to 1v1 me at Rust in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, we’ll fuck your shit up until you rage quit. Come at my Xbox online avatar, bro (there were a lot of curse words there because I wasn’t smart enough to come up with any other jokes. Weak eOpening, I eAdmit).
Jokes aside, eSports leagues shouldn’t be something you just brush off anymore. In 2017, the video game production company Blizzard began their Overwatch eSports league. The Overwatch league is unique to eSports in that it’s structure is mimics the other major sports in the U.S. Teams go head to head, 6 v 6, play one game (Overwatch), and have regular and post season play. eSport leagues have typically been more of a promotional function, advertising the newest game or feature or whatever. Overwatch only plays Overwtach, just like football players don’t play baseball. Looking at you Tebow.
As an obnoxiously impatient person, I cannot stand watching friends play video games. I’m comparable to a selfish child. Often, I find myself yelling, “LET ME PLAY OR I WILL GIVE YOU CANCER.” That usually works. Hey kids, if you ever want something from your parents, this is usually an effective threat to go with.
In any case, watching your friends suck lard at literally any game is excruciatingly boring. I was one of the many people that doubted the sustainability of an eSports league like the Overwatch league, but hey, if you can sit through 9-innings of baseball, you can sit through anything (side note, how does anyone watch almost every game of their baseball team?…how can anyone watch scoreless baseball?…Lastly, does baseball cause cancer? Probably not, but there’s an argument somewhere in there.)
Don’t cry because it’s over, young Timothy, cry because you have to switch to baseball in a few years.
You gotta admit, the way they set up the eSports arena looks sick. The lights alone made me go from 6 to midnight.
This Overwatch league is making paper (probably not in cash though…it’s electronic these days. Cant you just hear the old bastards saying ‘Sports? Cash? What’s next… Communism?’ ). Blizzard sold 12 teams at $20 million a piece, owned by Entrepreneurs from cities all over the world…A quarter of a billion is not a bad start. Robert Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots, shelled out a crisp 20 for his very own Boston based team of button pushing powerhouse players, AKA the Boston Uprising (peep the blog title). Other notable team owners are:
Kroenke Sports & Entertainment, owners of the LA Rams, Denver Nuggets, Colorado Avalanche, Arsenal F.C., and now Overwatch League’s LA Gladiators.
Sterling VC, Venture Capital Company of the New York Mets (shout out Tebow yet again) and now the New York Excelsior.
Comcast Spectacor, Owner of the Philadelphia Flyers and now the Philidelphia Fusion.
NRG eSports— you probably don’t know them because they don’t own a major U.S. sports team but they DID invent the most popular game in the world right now FORTNITE and now own the San Francisco Shock.
With the Nuggest, Flyers, Avalanche, and Mets pulling in a crisp $100 per year, it’s no suprise that these companies jumped at the opportunity for some revenue.
ESPN estimates that the prices of teams sold in 2018 will rise to between $30-60 million each, completing the league with around 28 teams. If they sell the remaining 16 team spots for $60 million each, they’ll add $960 million to their Overwatch wallets. And even if they only sell sell the remaining 16 spots at 30 million each, they’ll rake . in a cute little $480 million. Big thumbs, big wallets, big tuna (shout out to the video game ePisode of The Office and Andy’s creation of Jim’s nickname ‘big tuna’… good times).
Additionally, the league has interest from sponsors already, thwarting any fer of generating revenue over a long term basis. They’ve sold over $100 million in advertising and broadcasting rights to T-Mobile, Toyota Motor, Intel, HP, and Sour Patch Kids.
To top it off, the eSports audience is rapidly expanding. It is expected to have about 557 million fans worldwide by 2021. The league is easily going to clear a billion dollars in revenue, possibly reach multi-billion dollar status. The hot debate is….will eSport gamers have to get out of their chairs and stand for the anthem, remain seated, or kneel down to protest (KIDDING! Let’s not open that wildly unstable jar of explosives).
Please watch over KillerTakes over watch of Overwatch for more news about our Overwatch League watch over and the Overwatch watchers and Overwatch watch-overers.
Signing off so I can sign on to play live. I need to practice for the league…I want to get ED (eDrafted, of course). Joke in title was just about Boston’s team name being the gerund form of the word “uprise,” however, I would have LOVED the name the “SF Shockers.” Their tagline could be, “every Shocker fan knows, two on the joysticks, one in the D-pad,” an obvious homage to the 2 in the pink, 1 in the stink shocker style of foreplay (would have been a great play on of words..forEplay…I am PISSED).