Dating, Health and Lifestyle, Romance, Social

A Study has Confirmed That Attractive Women Can Have Sex With Almost Anyone, Anywhere, and Anytime

Science has now confirmed that attractive women can have sex pretty much whenever they want.

Researchers that we’re probably nerds that were mad at the world (i’d say they’re probably INCELS–involuntary-celibate–but that kind of has a -mass-murdery connotation to it) decided to test the results of how many women would accept a proposition for sex from an attractive man on the first meeting, or first being introduced to the stranger. Contrarily, the study tested the amount of men that would accept the same proposition from an attractive woman. The attractive males and females that were used to make the proposition we’re chosen based on how attractive various focus groups found them.

The results are shocking. Prepare to be shook.Take a moment to make an educated guess as to which sexy sex said yes to sex. The results WILL shock you, if you’re idiotic.

75% of men accepted the proposition.

0% of women accepted.

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Okay maybe this is a bad female example but you get it

I mean if she didn’t have the face of a goblin I probably would say yes…I like a strong woman. You know what, I’d still do it if she kept those teeth away from my angry Irish inch.Fuck it, give me EXTRA TEETH BABY! (For all of you following at home, me and goblin lady have fallen in love and are expecting our first human-goblin hybrid child!)

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uh no thanks lady…I have a goblin-lady that keeps me warm at night that I am not screwing things up with. 

While I am hypothetically part of the 25% that said no because of their significant other or sexuality or both, in the real world, I’d say yes before she could finish asking.

I guess I am idiotic as I am actually a little surprised by the results of the study–though my friends and family would tell you that they knew I was idiotic long before this experiment.

Zero women said yes!??! No free love, super progressive women we’re ready to get down and dirty with the sexy stranger? That just shows how much smarter women are than men–and just how much men actually think with their dicks. Women all said no because there was probably a bazillion outcomes that ran through their head, all of which we’re negative. All these reasons popped in their head in an instant:

  1. What if this guy is a creep and kidnaps me? Sold me for human sex-trafficking? Cut me up into little slices? Chained me up and tortured me? Killed me and ate me? No thanks.
  2. What if he has some sort of disease which is why he has to resort to asking random women to sleep with him?
  3. Kind of super weird that this guy doesn’t just go to bars and talk to women like normal people.
  4. Ew, What if he is into disgustingly weird things that I am just not okay with.
  5. Uh, I am not that kind of girl. I’d feel bad about myself right afterwards.
  6. This can’t be real…I bet the moment I say yes some people come out as a prank show or something just to be cruel to girls that enjoy free love.
  7. I am on my period and quite frankly, I’m not in love with the idea of a random stranger sleeping with me on my period.
  8. I am not loving how I am feeling “down there” because I really wasn’t planning on sleeping with anyone, plus I have been sweating today (or haven’t showered in a while)….it’s all I will be thinking about the entire time.

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Those are all the reasons for the average woman. You also have to think that there are a number of other reasons. Maybe they don’t even like dudes, maybe they were walking their dog or maybe they we’re on the way back from burying their dead father and didn’t want to disappoint in the after-life like she did for the entirety of his life. Whatever the case may be, ladies could get it just by asking (though men still need to ask because they must get consent and it’s fucked up if they don’t). 

I really do not get how straight plastic surgeons do their jobs. I do however understand how male gyno’s are able to keep their arousals in check as most of the patients coming in every day are old ass women with saggy uterus’s that need a good fingering (so the doctor can root around and feel that everything is in shape).

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And that is the point of this blog… to let everyone know that all of your Grandmother’s and all of the old people you know need to be fingered nice and hard.

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