A Canadian smuggler attempted to illegally transport 5,000 living leeches in his luggage bag. The man was returning to Canada–all he had to do was fucking leave the airport and then nothing was stopping him from filling up his bath tub with these flesh-eating worms and taking a nice dip in the slime. But no, the goodie-goodie two-shoes beagle drug snuffing dog at the Toronto Pearsons International Airport smelled that smelly smell he smells when those dogs detect something they don’t recognize, so the Beagle went right next to the smuggler and totally ratted on the man just tryna make a living.
No, the big reveal wasn’t as juicy as we might of hoped. There would be nothing that I’d love more if Canada’s Finest (TSA version) ripped open this dude’s bag expecting to bust the drug mule of some Russian heroine ring. And then to their surprise are these black and green leeches that are so slimy that they’re making noises when they squeak past each other and like 50 of the 5,000 accidentally pop out of the bag. But it was not like that….such if life. They we’re all packed into containers and the arrest was super anti-climactic.
Apparently, the Leechman did not seem like he was even trying to hide the contraband, which leads you to believe that he really didn’t even know that traveling with them was illegal. but unfortunately for leech lover, his haul of worms happens to be an internationally regulated species–only people with the right permits could travel with them. And he ended up having the right permits! The twist of the Year!
Kidding….he didn’t have the right permits because he obviously wasn’t planning on doing anything wholesome with hem. To my surprise and lowkey disgust, the leeches sell for $10 in the streets, though I doubt he invested in any of his merchandise without already knowing his clientele. Imagine trying to sell worms in the streets like hoodrats that sling drugs??? I’d pay just to see how uncomfortable a worm-dealer would look with all of their product stuffed into their pockets, constantly squirming and moving up and down his legs.
Apparently, people buy leeches because leeches will eat target the dead flesh off a person first before going for the blood that’s appetizing to vampires. So people that suffer from serious frostbite, gangrene, 3rd degree burns, are recovering from plastic surgery (such as face lifts), etc., buy leeches and allow them to crawl all over their body and eat their rotting flesh off. I guess that’s cheaper than paying for surgery.
The Toronto International Airport doesn’t know what the fuck to do with he leeches…it’s not like they can put them away in a storage room or give them to the Mounties because they probably don’t know what to do with them. They got two small local wildlife habitat-type plces (you know like a rescue zoo or some shit) to volunteer to take care of some of the leeches in their little habitat or whatever (RIP tot he employee that has to take care of them. Guess that’s just Canadien transport, eh?)
But they still have 3,950 leeched still looking for a home. Damn, the number of orphaned leeches in Canada is a real problem. So yeah, TPIA is literally looking for anyone with the proper permits to take the damn things off because as of now they don’t know what the hell to do. Let them die? Do we really care about leeches that much? Will PETA attack if they let them die?
The cost of taking care of an orphaned leech is less than a cup of coffee a day. Please, as of this very moment, 3,950 leeches reside in the depths of the airport’s storage room. Innocent Canadien TSA workers are suffering trying to take care of their slimy worm-children. Please, end their 4 months of dealing with he parasitic mini-snakes.
And remember, if you or a loved one are struggling with a similar difficulty, please do not be afraid to leech out.