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Kyler Murray Should Play Baseball if He Doesn’t Like The Publicity That Comes With Being an NFL Quarterback

Kyler: stay out of the kitchen if you can’t take the heat. This isn’t intended to be as mean as it sounds. Just that being an NFL starting quarterback comes with a lot of PR responsibilities that might make playing in the MLB more appealing.

What the ?!?!?!?

Kyler Murray has been all over the sports channels and sites this week as he’s in Atlanta for the 53rd Superbowl and been doing a shit ton of interviews and appearances and shit.

Kyler might be the most talented football and baseball player of all time, but he might also be one of the single most boring interviewees of all time. His answers to questions are brutally boring, single worded, or give nothing the interviewer to supplement.

This mans has a point. We’ve all been in one of those situations where we gave 10% effort on a task just to get the thing done and over with. You know, something where you we’re just said “fuck it, it’s good enough.” AKA every high-schooler handing in a paper without proofreading it first. So it could have been one of those situations.

 I mean, it’s a little surprising that he didn’t have an answer ready for some of these predictable questions. Personally, I can’t even act short with someone when they ask me a question, even if I don’t know the answer! If I was Kyler and Dan Patrick asked me, “Are you going to be at the NFL combine?” I’d still spiel on for 10 minutes about how I haven’t come up with a decision. But then again, I have usually divulged too much as people tend to only ask me one question when engaging with me.

Image result for talking out of ass gif
Talking out of my ass

But Patrick Mahomes, everyone’s favorite public speaker for his uncanny Kermit-the-frog like voice, came to Kyler Murray’s aid:

 Yes Patrick-Star, it’s a very hard decision, and he has the right to do it in his own way but C’MON. The guy has been asked the same question over and over again all week. He’s talked about one single subject over and over and over again….just ramble up some of the same ol’ BS for Dan Patrick to stick on the cover of his website. I mean, what is even the point of going on for the interview? the Sponsors? You’d think you would want to look good for your sponsor’s so they’d feel confident in their sponsorship, right? Wheaties didn’t want Michael Jordan acting like he was forced to eat Wheaties.  


But what I will say is this: I think Murray was worried Dan Patrick was going to trick him with a curveball—or make him fumble with his responses (depending on what sport he ends up playing). Dan Patrick specifically asked Murray, “Are you going to be at the combine?” and I think for a brief moment, Murray panicked and forgot whether the combine was before or after the NFL Draft. So he was taken back, his mind raced, and struggled to give an answer because he did not want to confirm or deny his attending of the combine so not to accidentally reveal his decision. In an instant, all sorts of headlines and tweets flashed through his mind that said, “Murray tells Dan Patrick of his plans to Pursue a Career in the NFL.” I can respect that kind of stomach dropping panic.

That being said, if Kyler teases us with all of these interviews from this Superbowl week, giving us NFL fans every reason to believe he is going to the NFL, and then he CUCKS us and plays baseball…..I would actively root against him for the entire length of his baseball career. That would become my new favorite baseball team. For example, if he was to play for the Oakland A’s as many people believe he would should he play baseball, my new favorite team would be the, “AA’s,” aka the Anti-A’s (slogan would be “AA’s that aren’t so anonymous”).

But if Kyler just doesn’t like answering questions in interviews, then maybe the job as Quarterback isn’t for him. Quarterbacks need to answer hours and hours of press conference questions and post game interview, and if Kyler just flat out doesn’t like doing that—then maybe he should just play baseball, where he’d most likely be interviewed only at the end of games that he played really well in. The difference in public speaking requirement for baseball and football. To be honest, I didn’t know Robinson Cano was Spanish for so long because he rarely did interviews! I was so shocked when I first found out he was a Spanish dude….last year.

Roast me

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