Crime, Entertainment News, General Humor

Ex-Kennilworth Superintendent, AKA Pooper-Intendant Who plead guilty to Public Defecation, Has Filed Lawsuit Against Holmdel Police for Treating Him Like Crap

Just an FYI, I reported this before Asbury Park Press did. Not to brag or anything. Don’t blame them though, it’s tough to keep up with this beat-reporter-blogger. It’s like trying to keep up with Usain Bolt or Dale Earnhardt Jr or myself in the bedroom: there’s no one quicker.

The Pooper-independent, aka the former superintendent of Kennilworth who pleaded guilty to Defecating by Holmdel Highschool’s Track, has filed a federal lawsuit against Holmdel Township and it’s Police Department. The Super-Pooper, Thomas Tramaglini (43), is claiming that Holmdel Police illegally took his mugshot photo and then wrongfully released said photo.

When your friend is taking a pic of you but you look like shit

(NJ.com) The former Kenilworth school superintendent claims in court papers police departments are “expressly prohibited” under state law from taking booking mugshots for “low-level, non-criminal offenses.” Tramaglini was issued three summonses and later pleaded guilty to a single non-criminal municipal offense of defecating in public. He attributed the incident to a medical condition that affects his bowel movements when he runs.

The man gets the runs when he runs. Have some symptahy, Tramaglini can’t even run to the bathroom during an emergency or it will rush out faster.

The serial secretor claims there was a “pattern of embellished, sensationalized reporting, based on impressions first created by the Police and Township,” of which was reiterated anytime he had a court preceding or other reason to be in the news. Basically, every news outlet said that Tramaglini had been arrested for pooping in public—of which was justified by the mugshot since mugshots are indicative[SM1]  of “high-level, criminal offenses” (despite the Pooper-Intendent only being guilty of a single summons for a low-level, non-criminal offense for public defecation).

Every photo of this man is honestly so funny that I shit my pants

So blah blah blah Tramaglini may not have even had to resign and definitely wouldn’t have resigned without reaping the few benefits of actually having a government position:

Tramaglini claims in the suit he “will never achieve the level of compensation benefits, and retirement pension income that he would have otherwise if the unlawfully taken photographs of him had not been released to the media.” Public records show he earned $147,504 a year before being forced to resign.

When you’re sad as shit because you have a ton of shit to deal with that all resulted from having a ton of shit and dealing with that shit in a shitty way

Tramglini claims that his civil rights were violated, and he is definitely butthurt about it as the butthole exploder is claiming that his civil rights were violated on 8-counts. Would have been funnier if he was going for #2 counts. The suit also claims intentional infliction of emotional distress, negligent hiring, training and supervision of police, defamation, invasion of privacy and intrusion.

The man who gets the runs when he runs might be emptying his bowels, but filling his piggy bank.

He just looks pooped.

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