Entertainment, TV

The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon Hosted a Surprise military homecoming for Active Duty Husband and Wife

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The manliest of men struggle to hold back tears whenever service men and women surprise their loved ones by unexpectedly gracing their family or dog or kids with their return.

The Tonight Show reunited a husband and wife–both of which serve(d) for the armed forces. And they it so perfectly…honestly, the audience did not see this surprise coming at all. I was stunned watching it on the television.

Many of the audience members at the show we’re vets or active duty men and women int eh service. As a way to say thank you, Jimmy was going to randomly pick an audience member (each seat had a piece of paper with a number on it. Fallon randomly picked out a number, and brought up the audience member to play him in The Whisper Challenge–a game/segment that Fallon often plays with his celebrity guests.

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The goal of the game is to basically try and read one another’s lips. Either Jimmy or his guest puts on noise canceling headphones so that they cannot hear the phrase their opponent reads the phrase off of a note-card.

So the random audience members comes up in front of the crowd and the two play a couple rounds, until Jimmy Fallon picks up his 3rd card to read his next phrase. Behind the audience member, a man in uniform sneaks up and stands behind her. Jimmy Fallon reads the phrase, ‘Your husband is behind you.” The audience member didn’t know what the f**k Jimmy was saying, so at the risk of the husband awkwardly standing their for too long, he simply turned the card around so she could read it herself.

Melt your heart for yourself:

Entertainment, TV

Should you Watch Netflix’s “The Haunting of Hill House?” This 1 Question Quiz Can Tell if You’ll Love it or Hate It

 Do you like horror movies with loud jump scares? (Click on the appropriate response)

 (PS: the links are totally not to some sort of horrifying Jump-Scare. If I am lying, I cross my heart and hope to die. I absolutely promise that these links will bring you to a page that simply provides an explanation as to why your response explains everything one would ever need to tell whether or not The Haunting of Hill House makes a good fit for you.)

 Do you like horror movies with loud jump scares? (Click on the appropriate response.)

(Also I rewrote the question in case you forgot. And I am about to do it again because I am neurotic and think that for some reason, you have forgotten the question by the end of the sentence. But I know that isn’t true because you decided to read a KillerTakes article…you’ve already made a brilliant choice. PPS I am about to do it yet again so it looks better on the page.)

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Do you like horror movies with loud jump scares? (Click on the appropriate response.)

 

A. Yes

Yes, you like jumpscares.

 

B. No.

No, you don’t like a good “BOO!”

 

C. They’re alright–as long as they’re not overdone.

You like them in small doses, as long as the plot doesn’t rely on them.

 

D. Dont luv them– I’m more into creepy, tense horror. 

You like the scary movie that gradually increases tension.

 

E. None of the Above

You aren’t a fan of horror movies at all. Or you are more into the scary movies that deal with types of species that attack humans. You know, kinda like Aliens, Zombies, Ghouls, that kind of whole shebang. Whatever you are into is okay! Be you! You’re just a little weird in my eyes if you prefer these movies over a work of cinematic perfection like Hereditary. 

Advertising, Entertainment, TV

How NBC’s Hit Sitcom “The Office” Brilliantly Advertised Products That We’re Hidden in Broad Daylight

Product placement is a tricky thing for shows to pull off. You really need to work it into your show in a way that flows well. You don’t want it to be so obvious that your audience can blatantly tell that something is product placement, but you don’t want it so camouflaged that no one notices it. There’s nothing ore annoying than when a show is so obvious with its product placement, kind of like in the Truman Show:

The office could have written a manual on the proper way to place a product.

SecondLife:  Remember that episode where Dwight creates an online avatar for the virtual world, SecondLife? Apparently, Second Life is a real, online virtual world. Technically, LindenLab’s, the creator of the game, refuses to call it a game. Unlike most multi-player online games, there is absolutely no set objective or task. It is just a virtual world to live in. Ironically, the episode that features SecondLife is called “Local Ad.” The product placement in this episode was rated 8th in the top 10 most effectively placed products in 2007. Dwight really conveys the message of what the product is: “It is not a game, it is a multi-user virtual environment.”

To make the product placement even better, Jim doubts the game in the beginning, and converts to an enjoying-user by the end, playing up just how fun it is. While Secondlife at its peak had a record 36 million created accounts (2013), SecondLife still reports 600,000 regular users to this day. That’s higher than I’d ever imagine to be honest. I don’t know a single soul that uses SecondLife.

Call of Duty: Are you annoyed as I am about not realizing that the famous video game was some product placement? When Jim moves to the Stamford branch, he joins a sales team that plays Call of Duty to try and team build.

Jim plays like an absolute fucking noob, but everyone is from Stamford is solid and they all love it. I am annoyed that I didn’t realize that this was advertising because it’s now so fucking obvious. The entire episode is pretty much about them playing CoD.

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Although, the story apparently fucked up because Jimmy Halpert was supposed to have never played Call of Duty before. Shout out to a random reddit user for finding this:

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Staples: Okay this one I don’t blame you or me or anyone for not catching this one considering they always bash Staples. But in reality they don’t bash Staples at all. In fact, when they have bad things to say about Staples is that they don’t like staples because they’re costs are so low that Dunder Mifflin cannot compete. So basically it’s one big ad. Everytime Dunder Mifflin tries to say that they have better customer service than Staples or Office Max, they refer to them as “The Big Guys” or “The Major Corporations.”

Remember the episode where Kevin uses his new, powerful shredder to see everything it could shred? Yeah, that was one big clever advertisement for Staples. The shredder is a Staples brand. Now you understand why Kevin went and shredded a ton of stuff, because the show was advertising how powerful the shredder is. The shredder even shreds a CD-Rom.

Cisco Phones: every single phone in the show is from the Cisco brand. Every office I have ever worked in has used Cisco-brand phones, so something must’ve worked somewhere. Then again, I’ve only worked in a variety of different law firms, so maybe it’s just a lawyer thing. But there is no shot “lawyer-things” are real things, right? Could you get a more specific niche?

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HP: Most of the products used in The Office are HP products. Again, every office I’ve ever worked at has used HP computers, probably for cost-efficiency (imagine if a company had to buy hundreds of Mac’s for its computers…that would be insanely expensive. Apple should really look in to cutting costs for Mac products when buying them in bulk for businesses because I really feel like they’re missing out on a lot of business there–especially because the entire world is in universal agreement that Mac’s are better than HP’s).

Gateway Computers: I really don’t know what Gateway computers are but am Including it because it was on Wikipedia. Just acting on my journalistic integrity.

Hooters: Michael Scott’s favorite restaurant was a nifty piece of product placement that the producers finessed into the show. If you told me that this wasn’t product placement, I’d probably believe you because it just makes sense that Michael Scott’s favorite restaurant is Hooter’s. The fact that he thinks it’s so funny, and somehow an appropriate place for a work lunch is all you need to know about Michael Scott. There’s like four places that would work as his favorite restaurant for Comedic purposes. For example, you could see Chuck E. Cheese or Dave n’ Busters working (also, is anyone else just noticing their weirdly similar names). I could even see BubbaGump Shrimp being his favorite restaurant because he can’t stop doing Forrest Gump impersonations when he’s there.

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Sandals Resort: When you re-watch the Sandals episode(s), it’s blaringly obvious that the show was paid for advertising. But if you didn’t know it, you’d never be able to tell–despite the fact that Michael Scott impersonates someone using an Advertisement style voice:

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TripAdvisor: Another one that might’ve slipped under your nose, but yes, they too worked with the Office. As a joke, Jim and Pam go to stay at Dwight’s new bed and breakfast that offers a unique experiencing of staying at a beat farm. Throughout the episode, Dwight often mentions how important every TripAdvisor review is as it is the “lifeblood of the agritourism industry.”

For most of the episode, Dwight is very depressed about Angela leaving him. At the very end of the episode, Jim and Pam give Dwight a great review on Trip Advisor, which briefly makes him happier. Later in the episode, Dwight seems back to his old self. Kind of obvious now that there is meant to be an association between Happiness and TripAdvisor.

Olympic Wire and Equipment: Uh, duh…ever heard of it?

Yeah neither has anyone ever. Unless you worked in the warehouse of a company that manufactured a product that required a machine that made paper, hay, or cotton into bails. The warehouse of the Scranton office was filled with Olympic balers. I wonder how many people realized that the baler was part of the advertising.

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Things That We’re NOT Ads But Everyone Thought hey Were

The Ipod: Michael buys an Ipod for Ryan as his secret Santa gift, despite going over the $20 limit. Wikipedia says there is a full 4 minutes of screen-time showing the Ipod, but the entire episode revolves around every office-member fighting for the Ipod. Seems like an ad. Surprising that it isn’t.

Chili’s: Despite being famously involved with The Office, Chili’s did not pay The Office for any sort of advertising. the producers actually approached Chili’s about being allowed to use their restaurant and name in the show, and Chili’s agreed so long as they got final say about what went into an episode (to make sure nothing bad was said about them). One of the scenes in “The Dundies” episode, Chili’s rejected one of the scenes causing a last minute rewrite. It’s a good thing as well because that episode is perfect down to the damn credits.

It’s sort of brilliant that the producers used Chili’s and Apple in their episodes. It makes you think, “oh come on…this is obviously paid advertising that they chose to incorporate to make money.” But the fact that those companies did not end up advertising with the show sort of muddies the water…it makes whether or not something is an advertisement ambiguous–it gives the producers a lot of freedom to fit in a logo whenever they want.

Movies, TV

Netflix Needs To Learn From HBO, Getting Rid of Free Trial Option Won’t Fix Anything

1st of all, who in the hell is still signing up for a free trial for Netflix. Hasn’t everyone used up their allotted one month by now? If Netflix really wants to make more money, they’re going to have to figure out a way to only allow the people that paid for their subscriptions to access the streaming service. Their biggest problem is everyone sharing account information.

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Netflix has failed to meet their quarterly projections twice now. They’ve announced that they think it’s because the amount of full members is not an accurate because they include trial members when trying to figure out their projections. Netflix wants to scratch trial memberships, and put more of their money towards creating their own content, resulting in an increase in paying subscribers. Quite frankly, I don’t know if this is good or bad for us viewers (sorry, i don’t know shit about how it’ll affect investors).

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Netflix original content– so many mixed reviews by consumers. Personally, I think more money should be put into making higher quality shows, but my fear is the show will throw money at expanding the quantity of their shows. Netflix needs to take a page out of the HBO’s book rather than follow random TV station’s. Premium cable works because they really invest the time and money into making their shows so they know that what they’re producing is amazing quality. They don’t just pickup the newest sitcom starring C-list actors (qt best).   Seriously, just look at this list of shows…all are considered for Emmy’s every year:

  • Game of Thrones (aka Musical Chairs)
  • The Leftovers (aka the Day After Thanksgiving)
  • The Wire (aka the Chord)
  • Curb Your Enthusiasm (aka Relax)
  • Veep (aka Elaine Benes as Joe Biden)
  • Silicon Valley (aka comedy that old people are too outdated to understand)
  • True Detective (aka Honest Cop)
  • Sex and the City (aka Hump and the Metropolis)
  • True Blood (aka Verifiable Gang Los Angeles Street Gang)
  • Westworld (aka Everything West of Ohio)
  • Band of Brothers (aka Delti Chi Omega)
  • Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (English Bitches About the Week Every Sunday)
  • Entourage (aka Group of Men or Women)
  • East Bound and Down (aka Southeast)
  • Ballers (aka Cool Athletes)
  • Vice (Bad Stuff)

Don’t be the next TBS @Netflix…be Premium.

Wouldn’t mind if Netflix invested in porn either. Could go for some really dope story-lines.

Entertainment, General Humor, TV

Puppeteer behind Big Bird and Oscar The Grouch Is Retiring After 50 Years–What Will Change?

Absolutely nothing will change…this time. Sesame Street has made a lot of changes over the past few years, all of which have contributed to Sesame Street’s demise. Ever since the Bert and Ernie writer claimed that the two we’re homosexual (and Sesame Street’s controversial vehement denial of such claims), sesame street has turned into the street. 

Carroll Spinney is retiring. We commend you on your contribution to this world–most of us watched Sesame Street at one point or another when we were children. You we’re like the K-mart version of Mr. Rogers to us. However, in his old age, Big Bird was already changing…it was probably time he needed an intervention:

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The puppet’s will be okay in the long run. The new puppeteer’s will learn the ropes.  As the world changes, so too does Sesame Street. And that is something we just will have to accept. Change is inevitable, and as far as changing the man behind big Bird and Oscar, at least you’re not dealing with something like the Veggie Monster fiasco. How emasculating–when you take a man’s cookies you take his livelihood. I hear Elmo bullies him and calls him the Vaggie Monster. Image result for sesame street funny

Oscar the Grouch was changing by the end too. His character became the very thing that goes in a trash can: trash.  Back in the day, Oscar was like one of those lovable grouches…the kind that acted rude to the world but had a heart that he chose not to show people so he could hurt others before he got hurt. 

Sad to see this photo. Oscar is more than a Grouch, he is basically a hermit. He never comes out of his trash can. A trip to the red carpet like this one never happens anymore for the…thing (whatever type of animal he is).

As he got older, grouchiness turned to active cynicism. We knew he hated people, but Oscar started conspiring to commit murder to Bert and Ernie because of his committed membership to the Westboro Baptist Church and their extreme prejudicial. Just because Oscar does not have any happiness left in his green-body doesn’t mean that Bert and Ernie don’t deserve to have any.

Even if it is Sesame street…a Sesame Bagel is the worst kind of bagel. Gotta be some sort of connection there. Take care of your children. The Count’s favorite numbers are: 666, 69, and 420….do you really want a perverse vampire teaching your kids?

Entertainment, TV

Gloria is Definitely-Probably-Possibly Whose Dying On “Modern Family” Next Season

Co-creator of Modern Family Christoper Lloyd told Entertainment Weekly that a significant character dies next season:

(Entertainment Weekly) “We’re handling some bigger life events in this season,” he says. “We do deal with a death, which is certainly a topic that families have to deal with, and on television, it’s not easy to do because that’s a heavy subject. But at the same time, it would seem unusual for a family not to go through it.”

Not surprisingly, Lloyd isn’t revealing who is headed six feet under — or if it’s one of the main family members — but he promises that he/she is a “significant character on the series” and the death “will be a moving event — and an event that has repercussions across several episodes.”

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My face after immediately knowing who it would be.

Unfortunately, we dont have access to the cast of Modern Family’s contracts.

Fortunately for you, I tend to watch Modern Family when nothing better is on TV.  I am pretty much an expert on shows that you settle for. Have I watched them completely out of order? Yes. Do I know the exact chronology? Time is a circle (Source: Arrival). Still questioning if I know the timeline? Getting Excited?

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For starters, you can pretty much safely assume that none of the younger kids dying. Haley and under are safe because it just would not work for the show’s genre. A parent losing their child is the worst thing that can happen to them. Everyone in the show would be effected immensely, and there is no way to make it moving, while somehow being funny. I dont think audiences would love the death of a child either.

Gloria: Frontrunner to die. See ya 6 feet under!

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Gloria’s walk through the shadow of death makes the most sense as her and Jay’s immediate family has the biggest opportunity to keep the lighthearted feel, while still empathizing for the family’s loss. This is how the family dynamic’s would play out should Gloria pass on:

Jay would put on a tough exterior as to not worry Mitch and Claire and their families.He’d never want to talk about it, while silently suffering, looking at photos of her every night  before bed. Mitch and Claire would yap on the phone about how to approach Jay and be there for him, but both feel that their relationships with Jay guarantees uncomfortably. Phil would respond by being very, very upset, but his heart would break for Jay. Phil would inappropriately hug Jay and tell him that he’s there for him, to Jay;s annoyance.

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Mitch is bound to have an awkward talk with Jay, urged by Cam. Jay and Gloria’s other son, Joe, is just too young to understand what is really happening. Manny will be deeply distraught, but is already somewhat of a drama queen so it sort of works. I can just see him reciting Edgar Allen Poe in his dark room for two months.

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The things that could happen are endless. I can see Gloria’s family in Colombia attempting have Gloria return to Colombia for a burial in her home country with proper religious rituals. Jay would fight to keep her by her kids.

Easily, you can see Manny’s dad attempting to get custody of Manny. Jay’d fight for Manny since he wants him to stay, in addition to Manny not wanting to be forced to move to Colombia. Their bond would strengthen and seal forever. Additionally, I can easily see Jay trying to get Manny ready for adulthood and its responsibilities out of fear that he doesn’t have enough time left to live until Joe can be on his own. Then, Manny would need to be there for him.

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A situation where Jay shows a moment of vulnerability would definitely happen somewhere in there between he and an unlikely witness to said vulnerability that strengthens their bond (I can picture this happening with Mitch, Claire, Phil, or Cam).

I really cant picture any other situation playing out.They would not kill Mitch or Claire, or anyone from the Claire-Phil family as it would be too emotionally draining. And it would be such a Cop out if Phil’s father dies because they already did an entire episode where his Mother dies (Season 4, Ep. 24 “Goodnight Gracie”).

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Some think Jay could pass as he is the oldest and it would tie up the show in a nice little bow as the family comes together to try and help Jay, who upon his death, smiles because he has fully prepared his children to deal with the world and their family, while fulfill Gloria and Cam’s wishes of not feeling like some sort of outsider.

Cam is the only other character you could make an argument for that they’ll be written off as he is sorta on the outside, relatively.

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His death would require Mitch to step to full time duties with Lily while working. Mitch would rely on his family more and more for help, making everyone closer.

So yeah, see ya Gloria. Sorry for the typos. DUECES !

Entertainment, TV

Other TV Series Will Finally have a Fighting Chance as Game of Thrones Will Not be Eligible for the 2019 Emmy’s

Most blogs about TV shows, movies, books, porn, etc., begin the blog by telling the reader what the thing they’re writing about is. But if you need someone to explain what Game of Thrones is to you in 2018 you might want to just check into a psych ward because you’re too far gone.

The last season of thrones was supposed to be released in April of 2019, but the people on the opposite end of the spectrum (compared to the people that have never heard of thrones) figured out that GoT would be released a bit later than most expect. In an interview with HuffingtonPost, Joseph Bauer, who is GoT’s visual effects supervisor, said that the show will be eligible for the 2020 Emmy’s because they expect most of the shows (six) to be aired after May 31st of 2019.

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GREAT NEWS FOR EVERY OTHER TV PROGRAM OUT THERE!!!!!

For once, Thrones won’t win every category. Maybe one of bazillion dog-shit Netflix Originals will get some sunlight. The Emmy’s should put “Friends from College,” up there in a category called, “Zaniest Series that Best Resembles the After-product of a Laxative Overdose.”

But yeah, everything from June 26th to May 31st will be considered for the 2019 Emmy’s, and from June on is 2020 territory.

The 2019 Emmy’s are now one of the most anticipated events since seal team six fucked bin laden. The 2020 Emmy’s will be a wash. SPOILER: GoT win’s every category, even Zaniest Series that Best Resembles the After-product of a Laxative Overdose.

Does anyone really even care about having the watch the first episode of thrones a month later? It’s one thing if the entire season was released int eh same say so you could binge watch the whole thing in one night. But nothing really changse with the later release. Don’t you remember when you watched the last episode of season 7, don’t you remeber thinking, “damn.. the final season is so far away that it feels like it’ll just never come out.”

What fans should truly be worried about is real life Jobba the Hut making it to the release of the final season so we know what happens is exactly how Goerge R.R. Martin intended. God forbid that the writers and producers of GoT actually contribute any work at all.

Plus, I am 110% sure that the Night King is to win it all, ending humanity for a new, more advanced species to survive as the reigning creatures on Earth. Because unless human’s prove themselves as the peak of evolution, theoretically we’d reign on earth until Earth’s destruction. However, if another species came along and it was more evolved and adapted to thrive as the strongest species, in theory, they’d eventually out-populate humans and take control.

And G.R.R.M. is super into history and it;s ability to repeat itself, plus he has a boner for doing the exact opposite of what his fans want to see. See below.

 

I didn’t proofread this. I Told my editor to do it, but he didn’t feel like it (lmao I am my own editor).

Entertainment, General Humor, TV

You’ll Go F**king Bananas When You Find Out About Stewie’s Big Reveal on Family Guy’s latest Episode

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Family Guy’s latest episode (Season 16, Episode 2,) has certainly caused a stir among casual fans.

Whether you love or hate family guy, chances are that you’ve seen enough to know that one of the main characters of the family, Stewie, has an identifiable British accent that distinguishes him from his more unrefined relatives.

After 16 seasons, the accent has become unnoticeable–more than accepted, more than expected,it is almost a necessity. You’d think the character’s wouldn’t be able to surprise you after 16-years.

I’d define myself as a family guy fan, though I wait until a new season is over to binge watch it. So when I read the clickbait title’s that things like, “Stewie reveals huge secret to his therapist on the latest episode of Family Guy,” I pretty much expected it to be that Stewie is gay, which really isn’t a big reveal because we all know he is gay…he just hasn’t said it outright yet.

So you wanna know the secret?

STEWIE IS FAKING HIS BRITISH ACCENT.

His real voice sounds like every other character on the show. If you watch the clip, the show jokes about all the voices that Seth Macfarlane does.

Stewie reveals that his voice is something that makes him feel one of a kind, something that is almost like a coat of armor. When you hear his normal voice, you cringe and ache for the British voice back. We don’t like change, Seth.