opinion, Social, You’re being lied

Here are a Bunch of Tweets from an Account I hate and By the End of This, I Hope You Share my Feelings

Why this account and UberFacts are garbage:

It tweets the same facts over and over, meaning it is both too lazy to go on Wikipedia, or it thought that a certain tweet did not do as well as they thought it would.

It tweets the same facts as @Uberfacts (not that I like UberFacts, the two copy from headteacher and each share my hatred).

The facts are all wrong, askew, misinterpreted, or are massively broad,  over-exaggerations (For example, it will tweet ‘the most important factor” necessary to be happy. And two days later, it will tweet how something else is the most important thing for happiness). They don’t do shit to be correct, just want more traffic.

They is ignant. My captions are even more ignant.

 

Screenshot (107)

I know the answer to this one! It’s because the people who invented Tennis, aka Europeans, can’t count.

Screenshot (106)

I don’t think that’s “thy kingdom come” is supposed to mean in the Our-Father but to each their own.

Screenshot (105)

Me: Do you think I am dumb?

Man in Mirror: Nah Man! You are more smarter than I am!

Me: I am confused.

Man in Mirror: In summation, you are both crazy and dumb.

Screenshot (104)

Oh get off your fucking high horses, quiet people. There is nothing I can’t stand more than people who are quiet that think they’re better than everyone else, and are silently judging people and snivel to themselves because they think that they’re so clever. ,Lets be real, you are afraid of speaking, and afraid of what others will think of you.

Screenshot (103)

Sober Persians: Sparta is pretty. We should consider going after it.

Drunk Persians (with drunk goggles on): Damn! Sparta looking like a damn snack! All up in their Trojan get ups and shit. 300 looking more like a porno than an underdog war story. I am tryna get see how greasy that small section of Greec can get!

Screenshot (102)

This was probably found out by someone who was really bored.

Screenshot (101)

PETA is getting god damn ridiculous.

Screenshot (100)

That’s like Toyota switching from manufacturing cars to boats…Uh, don’t know what I picked Toyota…lets go with Chevy. Yeah, that’s like Chevy switching to boats.

Screenshot (99)

Alicia clearly has never explore any popular gay porn sites. Um, not that I have either…

Screenshot (98)

And now we know why the of Lord of the Rings fanbase is 85% comprised of 30+ year-old virgins.

Screenshot (97)

No shit sherlock. “If you sleep, you will be more rested than you we’re before.” No shit. Tell me something more obvious…is murder illegal? Is the sky blue? Is the NCAA full of corrupt pigs? Was that an opinion?

Screenshot (96)

So that means somewhere in its Database, Facebook has noted that I was watching Czechoslovakian women shooting ping pong balls out of each of their holes (their goal was to try and shoot one ball out the ass, and one out the V but at the same time and into a bucket…they didnt do it. But it was really fascinating).

Screenshot (95)

some lucky lady is probably out there with a shrine dedicated to me, writing down Mrs. McNamara over and over again in a notebook, fantasizing about me, her prince charming. I wonder who it is… I wonder if I’d be disappointed.

Screenshot (94)

I wonder what it’d feel like to be burning alive while giving birth….maybe Casey Anthony will tell me when I see her burning in hell.

Screenshot (93)

So who the hell is using the 36 grand it cost me to learn things I could have just read on Wikipedia?

Screenshot (92)

Oh yeah? My parents are divorced…don’t see how that really applies here dickhead.

Screenshot (91)

Yeah it might be your brain trying to figure it out, but it can’t be healthy to be thinking about your job 24/7. If you’re dreaming about spreadsheets every-night, you might as well blow your brains out.

Screenshot (90)

You can’t even sleep correctly.

Screenshot (89)

You know what will be really hilarious is when people askew this statistic because they find out they die for another reason, and then get super depressed, which then speeds up their death date.

 

Pls like share and follow and if you don’t, I swear to God, every piece of paper in this town will have the F-word on it. The f-word. You have one day.

Health and Lifestyle, You’re being lied

Overweight North Americans: Here is Why You Should Stay Fat for Your Health

If you live in North America, chances are that you’ve at the bare minimum atleast considered dieting. Even if you are naturally thinner and don’t have a medical reason to diet—you probably have picked the McDonalds salad over the chicken nuggets once or twice (until one person somewhere told you the salads were more fattening and you decide to get the nuggets anyway).

If you’re thinking about a 3rd slice of cake that ‘you’re only considering because no one else is around and it’s going to rot in the fridge soon,’ get your gullet ready because ol’ KillerTakes has got some goodbad news for you. No, it’s not a good news, bad news situation. It’s good-bad news… This news is horrifying and tragic, but has a nice silver lining for the obese and repulsive populates, AKA most of our bloggers here at KillerTakes.

Untitled 4 copy 4123

The Continent of North America is known for exactly three infinity units of things

For example, this is my representation of North American’s Fatboy reputation using pictures of yours truly.
←←←←←

However, arguably the most disturbing of North American reputations  is its startling number of domestic, civilian mass murders.

Exclude from photo above is Mexico because they only have to deal with the cartel. Once they get that little issue out of the way they can be included.

On April 23rd, while I wallowed for my own self- tragedy, a REAL, horrifying tragedy occurred in Canada: “The Toronto van attack was a vehicle-ramming attack that occurred on April 23, 2018, in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. A man later identified as Alek Minassian allegedly drove a rented van at speed through the North York City Centre business district, deliberately targeting pedestrians, killing 10 and injuring 16, some critically,”–Wikipedia.

Min-ass-ian, wrote this on Facebook mere minutes before the attack:

alek-minassian-facebook-redacted-ht-jc-180424_hpEmbed_17x14_992
(Via ABC via Facebook)

 

“The Incel Rebellion has already begun! We will overthrow all the Chads and Stacys! All hail the Supreme Gentleman Elliot Rodger!”

Some labelled the post as ‘cryptic’ and Zodiac Killer-esque, but a new culture of the internet has now been popularized.

An “Incel” is a slang term for someone who identifies as an “Involuntary Celibate.” Incel is literally short for “Inceldom,” which is apparently a real word. Wikipedia says that self-identifying Incels are almost entirely men.

zoolander confused

 

⇦You Trying to figure out where the f**k this article is going…

…same. It’ll probably all come together. I didn’t make an outline for this one

 

Elliot Rodger, the man Alek Minassian hails in his post, was the scum of the earth responsible for the 2014 Isla Vista Killings in California. Rodger identified as an Incel ad claimed the murders we’re out of hate for women in his manifesto. These Incel nine communities actually admire Elliot Rodgers.

Just to give you an idea of how much you should hate Elliot Rodgers, he wrote in his manifesto that he fantasizes about rounding up all the women and ‘gleefully’ watches them starve to death in concentration camps. I implore you to imagine your sister denying Rodger sex, and him having this even of hate for her in return. I implore you to do so. You’re implored. 

One of the major beliefs of the intel is in fatalism and defeatism for unattractive people, AKA unattractive people are destined to be defeated by virginity, never to achieve their penetrating, orgasmic goal of climax.

If there is truly an “Incel Rebellion” on the way, there is legitimate cause for concern when simply walking down the street… if you’re moderately attractive.

run-fatboy-run-51fe2e9c68580
Watch this movie if you want to live. Then watch some more. Also, this movie is a classic stinker…a good-bad movie…not unlike this news.

If you’re a revolting blob and your right hand is bae, you can actually rest-easy. This is one health concern that you don’t need to worry about. In fact, attractive people might want to consider gaining weight and consider a diet that may actually do some good for their health. Take it from us, sitting on the couch watching Jersey Shore re-runs, blogging, while eating a breakfast Philly cheese steak you added to your dinner order the night before is the healthy alternative.

I am scared for the Adriana Lima’s, Jake Gylenhaal’s, and Derek Zoolander’s of the world. Really makes you think.

 

All the experts are saying that Incels are basically a-holes. Blend in to survive, baby.