If the “the funnies” in the newspaper were actually funny, these would be them:
Written by Sean McNamara Drawings by Art IzToopid
Recently Divorced Dad Goes to Beach with Son:
Introducing: Couple of Jack-offs
***Couple of Jack Offs will Return
Recently learned that “Consensual Homicide” is a real thing:
“You cannot escape god, Not even with the mask or 6 feet,” –Florida woman.

Your Alt Right Aunt at Thanksgiving Dinner when you Try to say grace:
