Dating, Health and Lifestyle, Romance, Social

A Study has Confirmed That Attractive Women Can Have Sex With Almost Anyone, Anywhere, and Anytime

Science has now confirmed that attractive women can have sex pretty much whenever they want.

Researchers that we’re probably nerds that were mad at the world (i’d say they’re probably INCELS–involuntary-celibate–but that kind of has a -mass-murdery connotation to it) decided to test the results of how many women would accept a proposition for sex from an attractive man on the first meeting, or first being introduced to the stranger. Contrarily, the study tested the amount of men that would accept the same proposition from an attractive woman. The attractive males and females that were used to make the proposition we’re chosen based on how attractive various focus groups found them.

The results are shocking. Prepare to be shook.Take a moment to make an educated guess as to which sexy sex said yes to sex. The results WILL shock you, if you’re idiotic.

75% of men accepted the proposition.

0% of women accepted.

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Okay maybe this is a bad female example but you get it

I mean if she didn’t have the face of a goblin I probably would say yes…I like a strong woman. You know what, I’d still do it if she kept those teeth away from my angry Irish inch.Fuck it, give me EXTRA TEETH BABY! (For all of you following at home, me and goblin lady have fallen in love and are expecting our first human-goblin hybrid child!)

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uh no thanks lady…I have a goblin-lady that keeps me warm at night that I am not screwing things up with. 

While I am hypothetically part of the 25% that said no because of their significant other or sexuality or both, in the real world, I’d say yes before she could finish asking.

I guess I am idiotic as I am actually a little surprised by the results of the study–though my friends and family would tell you that they knew I was idiotic long before this experiment.

Zero women said yes!??! No free love, super progressive women we’re ready to get down and dirty with the sexy stranger? That just shows how much smarter women are than men–and just how much men actually think with their dicks. Women all said no because there was probably a bazillion outcomes that ran through their head, all of which we’re negative. All these reasons popped in their head in an instant:

  1. What if this guy is a creep and kidnaps me? Sold me for human sex-trafficking? Cut me up into little slices? Chained me up and tortured me? Killed me and ate me? No thanks.
  2. What if he has some sort of disease which is why he has to resort to asking random women to sleep with him?
  3. Kind of super weird that this guy doesn’t just go to bars and talk to women like normal people.
  4. Ew, What if he is into disgustingly weird things that I am just not okay with.
  5. Uh, I am not that kind of girl. I’d feel bad about myself right afterwards.
  6. This can’t be real…I bet the moment I say yes some people come out as a prank show or something just to be cruel to girls that enjoy free love.
  7. I am on my period and quite frankly, I’m not in love with the idea of a random stranger sleeping with me on my period.
  8. I am not loving how I am feeling “down there” because I really wasn’t planning on sleeping with anyone, plus I have been sweating today (or haven’t showered in a while)….it’s all I will be thinking about the entire time.

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Those are all the reasons for the average woman. You also have to think that there are a number of other reasons. Maybe they don’t even like dudes, maybe they were walking their dog or maybe they we’re on the way back from burying their dead father and didn’t want to disappoint in the after-life like she did for the entirety of his life. Whatever the case may be, ladies could get it just by asking (though men still need to ask because they must get consent and it’s fucked up if they don’t). 

I really do not get how straight plastic surgeons do their jobs. I do however understand how male gyno’s are able to keep their arousals in check as most of the patients coming in every day are old ass women with saggy uterus’s that need a good fingering (so the doctor can root around and feel that everything is in shape).

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And that is the point of this blog… to let everyone know that all of your Grandmother’s and all of the old people you know need to be fingered nice and hard.

Entertainment, Entertainment News

Did Kit Harington AKA Jon Snow Bang a Russian Supermodel who claims to have nudes of him? Do You Think his Bush is Way too Hairy?

Kit Harrington, actor who plays the beloved son from the most infectious show of all time, Game of Thrones, has denied any involvement with Russian Model Olga Vasilova. Rumours of infidelity spread after alleged nude photos of Harrington while he was allegedly sleeping we’re posted by his alleged mistress when they we’re allegedly together. Allegedly. Harrington is famously married to Rose Leslie, who was the actress that played Ygritte–Jon Snow’s (Harrington’s character). In very Goerge R. Martin Fashion, the two forbidden lovers come from warring parties…you got yourself a real Romeo and Juliet situation going on. Literally…it’s a replica:

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While the posts we’re taken off of Instagram, and are annoyingly hard to find online, you know your boy can sniff out naked pictures on the internet like no other. That’s because we here at KillerTakes will not be intimated by the sketchy websites that probably have pop up ads hidden with every click. We will not fear internet viruses despite not having anti-virus protection or the luxury that apple users are afforded with their penetration-less Macs.

 

Sorry for the resolution and the website throwing the copyright thing all over it. It could not be more fucking annoying especially since it isn’t something like their personal work or their intellectual property that people are trying to use or copy. In fact, all this person did was copy/screenshot what Olga Vasilova posted before she deleted it. You did nothing. You we’re the one to copy it first. You’re annoying.

That guy was the kid in school that asked the smart kid if they could copy their homework, and after they copied the smart kid, they wouldn’t allow anyone else to copy their copied homework. Fucker.

Unfortunately for us lovers of love, the actors that played Romeo and Juliet didn’t get together in real life (though they should have because #LoveWins)–at least I am pretty sure they didn’t hookup since female parts in plays we’re played by men which was punishable by death. Why does the church have to be so right about everything all the time (except for all those times they were involved in major scandals–which was only every single year since the church began when Jesus died for the 2nd time)

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By the way, if males had to be cast for female roles in GoT like as they did in Rome and Juliet’s time, things would be weird. Could you even imagine him cross-dressing? Yes.

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No mercy cersei

I’d still smash.

So….does Kit Harrington have a taste of more than just the Russian Vodka when he ventures on over to mother Russia? large

Harrington’s people say no…Kit Harrington himself hasn’t said anything directly to the public, but his rep has been very willing to answer any questions to shut down the rumors. According to Olga, the two met in Luxemborg and banged many times before and after Kit was married.

Someone that represents the King of the North pretty much denied everything that the model claimed, and his affirmations check out since Harrington has never visited Luxembourg in his life. Deny, deny, deny. Here is the list of people that successfully deny everything–

  1. People who are telling the truth about their denial.
  2. Good Liars.

I am gonna go ahead and believe that Kitty is telling the truth because…well probably because I hope he’s telling the truth. Harington and Rose Leslie cannot split up or my it was Jon Snow and Ygritte that started to make me think that love wasn’t a sham. It was Kit Harrington and Rose Leslie that confirmed to me that love existed.

The biggest reason I find the whole situation hard to believe is because the model, before this instance, had basically no fame before this incident. No shot anyone outside of Russia has ever heard of her–she isn’t that popular of a model or actress (she has a part in a random Russian TV show). She is an F-lister in Russia….what the hell would that grade be on the international celebrity level? Z-list Celebrity?

When you’re an artistic sculpture of man-meat like Kit Harington, you gotta wonder what this chick must look like. She has to be hot enough to pull the hottest adonis in all of westeros. Is She?

 

Excuse me for a sec while I take this photo into the uh, bathroom, for uh, further exam-urbation.

Google her and you’ll get absolutely nothing on the hottie besides what is going on i the news and maybe 1-4 modelling photos…everything else is like other random Russian Olga’s. You know when you google image yourself or someone you’re close with’s name and like 15 pictures of random ass other people with the same name come up in the results? That’s what it’s like googling this chick…that’s how not famous she was. Takes notes, aspiring people that want to work in show business/ just want 15 minutes of fame.

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Look at the noods aoth kinda look like Kit Harrington, but the full body photo could literally be any Caucasian dude with a black beard and long hair….seriously, you can’t even make out the face in that one. In fact, when I look at it for a while, I don’t even think the guy in the 2nd photo looks anything like Harrington besides the facial hair. By the way, Harington can make himself look like an entirely different person simply with some hair removal.

On the left is a photo of Harington before fame when he worked as an IT slave for a telemarketing center…………..allegedly (alleged by me of course).

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Snow goes from Nerd to badass with a little bit of hair. And when he cuts his hair to a more traditional look, he sort of looks like a posh prick that I’d probably be jealous of because of his affect on women.

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Speaking of which, if the nude picture truly is Kit, he really needs to shave that sea-grass he’s got going on there).

…not that I was studying his body. And also I didn’t feel the need to say that because e I am uncomfortable with my sexuality. Because I am. And also I am comfortable about saying I am comfortable with my sexuality, though I will say that I am NOT comfortable with this sentence about comfort-ability.

As for the first photo..you never know…anyone could have taken that photo with Kit Harrington in a hotel. Or it could be one of his doppelgangers. Or if she was really, truly convinced about her intercourse with Harington, you could believe something along the lines of a guy that had been told numerous times that he looked like Ned Stark’s Bastard so he decided to test it out at a club and see if it would help him to get a girl to go home with him….and then he just chose not to tell her the truth. Or maybe he does it regularly–which would be pretty scummy. Or maybe Harington is nothing like his TV personality and actually did have the affair.

Also taking the photo and posting it to Instagram (which definitely could have been done by mistake) is wildly illegal without consent. Nobody is that dumb, right? Celebs famously murder hackers and the like that leak their naked photos, and the offenders have been hit with some massive settlement payments (talking about in the millions, considering their career could be affected–which it never is). Wouldn’t be surprised if snow sued.  Would not be surprised if the model posted the picture she took by accident and enough people thought that the guy looked like Jon Snow that the model thought she might as well take advantage of the opportunity to gain some publicity and further her modelling career.

Would not be surprised if you didn’t give a fuck either way.

I would however, be surprised if there was like any other chick in the world with the name Olga and actually be good looking. The picture in my head of what an Olga would look like is the classic really old polish or Russian woman wearing dirty clothing and an apron and Olga is visibly husky and hairy in parts most women aren’t husky and hairy. And she wears a really old bonnet thing and yells at her grandsons a lot and is constantly annoyed because she is always taking care of the house and food while always praying to some mythical god named bubaloognata. Something like these loving women, whom I mean no offense to:

 

 

Damn girl… when you’re done brushing yo tooth we’re gonna get it on.

Entertainment, General Humor, Social

Vegas TV Reporter Arrested for Public Masturbation–Claimed That He Was scratching a Crotch-Rash that was “Itching Terribly.” Either Way it’s Gross.

Randy Howe is a Las Vegas Sports reporter for Channel 3 out there. Howe is a forgettable reporter, but a memorable masturbation. On November 6th, Howe was arrested and charged for gross lewdness and indecent exposure.

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My brother once asked my Dad if he accompany him on a trip to Las Vegas. My Dad was not sure as he had his concerns. Dad responded with, “I don’t know bud…I think it’s for the best if you’re not exposed to the indecency of Las Vegas.” I doubt that Dad was talking about the type of indecent exposure that Howe’s involved in. Maybe he did mean it in that way… what the hell is going on in Vegas? Why? Howe?

 

 

I finally understand why people say ,”What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” It’s because they don’t want people like Handy-randy anywhere near them. Literally, what the hell is wrong with Handy-Randy? Howe the hell are there people in this world that are so weird that they decide to take a trip to the bar at 9:15 A.M. only to sit at a slot machine and rub the one eyed snake. People rub tings for good luck, right? Maybe he was trying to get a little luck out to hit the jackpot on the slot machine. But something tells me that Howe wasn’t expecting luck to be what comes out of the one-eyed snake.

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Tell me if you believe his excuse:

Howe denies that he was flogging the dolphin, claiming that he was merely, “itching terribly.”

 Howe insisted he was not masturbating, saying he had a severe rash and was scratching himself, the report said. He said he “probably shouldn’t have been scratching himself at the bar and that it was a bad decision,” according to the report.-The Las Vegas Review

Uh, Okay…………………………………………………………………………

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Even if that we’re true…what the fuck is going on in your crotch area that is so itchy that you can’t stop scratching in a very public place.

 

But Howe was lying. Because he is perverse. The police have enough handy-dandy evidence to arrest Handy-Randy that proves the sportscaster’s cock-itchiness claim is a straight up lie:

A worker told responding officers they noticed the patron display “strange behavior,” which included walking to the bathroom with his penis outside his pants, police said. Surveillance video reviewed by police showed the patron unzip his pants and fondle himself, according to the report. —The Las Vegas Review

Howe are you going to lie your way out of this one, Howe? Your dick was so itchy that you’re fingers just weren’t doing the trick so you pulled your dong out of your zipper so you could scratch your scrotum against the metal ridges of the zipper but you accidentally cut it so you had to go to the bathroom to clean up the blood, and unfortunately couldn’t move your wang from the clutches of your zipper as you’d be risking  complete destruction?

One cannot help but wonder what is so sexually arousing for Howe to spank the monkey in a public bar at 9 AM. The atypical male-masturbation throws on some beautifully nasty stuff from one of the major porn sites. Or, if you’re into the vintage, retro style of porn pics, you might whip open a playboy center-fold to wrinkle as you clutch the page while achieving ecstasy.

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But Howe doesn’t do that…what turns him on his being at a bar early in the morning and just doing it while cranking down on his lever–in addition to the slot machines lever. Honestly…what can the crowd possibly look like at a bar in North Vegas at 9:15 A.M. I can’t imagine there being too many attractive women there. As my thirst for knowledge ceases to be quenched, I sought out information from my Father, who is one of two people I know personally that have been to Las Vegas:

Me: Dad….the crowd at a bar in North Vegas at 9:00 AM must be gross and ugly, right?

Dad: You’d be surprised.

Me: Oh yeah? How do you know?

Dad: What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, son. 

I hope that phrase is true because I don’t want him touching himself or anything close to me. I decree a personal restraining order that requires Handy Randy Howe to never come closer than 2,625 miles from me (that’s the exact distance from my house to Vegas. Ha.) Sick people in this world man. I bet Howe doesn’t vaccinate his kids. Let’s not open that can of worms right now.